If there’s one thing I’ve learnt during my quest to find the worst bridesmaid’s dress of all time, it’s that the bigger, fancier op shops tend to have very little in the way of hideous formal dresses. While they may be expansive and full of decent, clean clothes, your giant Salvos and Vinnies stores have disappointed me on my quest thus far.
Until yesterday, that is, when I discovered a little gem lurking on the dress rack. It had somehow snuck past the screening process and ended up in an actual store, glorifying in its hideous dropped waist and pointless shoulder pads (an element I had not even considered prior to this). Here is said dress in all its glory:
I think my expression is an adequate reaction to seeing that particular reflection in the mirror. This is the closest I’ve come to a butt-bow, too – just have a look at that insidious bow sitting on the dropped waist there. Just in case the ruching and ruffles didn’t make the wearer’s hips big enough, that bow was added to make sure of it all.
Argh, devious bow!
Egad, unflattering ruching!
WTF, shoulder pads of pointlessness?
Also, I was boiling hot after about two seconds of putting the dress on and there was no compensation in the form of taffeta noisiness. I won’t be buying this one, but it has certainly given me some new things to consider during future questing. Bows in stupid places are quite necessary and shoulder pads are now a serious consideration.
What do you all think, though? Am I getting closer to perfection?
You have reached the blog of Katiefoolery: a writer, a photographer and a long term procrastinator. In this blog, you can expect to find ramblings about all manner of subjects, usually accompanied by photographs.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Closer, but that color isn’t quite obnoxious enough. I’m still rallying for peach. Or possibly lime green.
Love your horrified expression, though.
Yes, I must agree with you on the colour issue. So far, no peaches or lime greens have shown up, but I’ll keep looking!
The look on your face does say it all! The weirdest thing about that dress is that it fits you perfectly – so it’s actually MEANT TO LOOK LIKE THAT!!!
I wonder what people of the 2030s will say about our clothes… my money is on ‘mermaid’ dresses being the taffeta monstrosities of our time
It looks like a hybrid of three different dresses, as though they couldn’t decide which one looked more horrible.
I think you may be right about those ‘mermaid’ dresses. They should have been banned before anyone had a chance to wear one.
C’mon Katie, if you had a bridesmaid I’m sure she would have looked beautiful in this dress, especially if she had bright red hair to match.
Well, yes, it’s true – it is the exact style I would have chosen. Maybe I could have insisted on a miniature red top hat as part of their hairstyle, too.
What’s with the sleeves under the armpit? May you never decide on the perfect bridesmaid dress so I can continue to piss myself laughing.
Maybe you’re supposed to store things there throughout the wedding? Just chuck your phone, wallet and tissues in there and you’ll be fine for the entire day! Until they fall out in the middle of the ceremony.
I am very happy to oblige your request! There are many more op shops out there and I will not rest until I find the perfect dress.
It’s amazing *_* So many ruffles!
It’s a waterfall of ruffles!
It is amazing. i think the colour could have been more hideous- I recently have seen a similar style in very very shiney gold with puff sleeves.
Yes, it’s true – the colour is almost acceptable. I must look out for more puffed sleeves! Several of my earlier finds had them and I do think they add a certain hideousness to any given dress.